JT4x4
The Mud Pit => General => Topic started by: HOT-ROD on January 05, 2008, 04:24:24 AM
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chuck norris is so bad, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
;D
go.
i had to do it brad.
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Chuck Norris is so bad, when Delta Force guys watch a training video, they watch the movie Delta Force.
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;D
yes!!!! that is awesome!!!!!!!!!
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If you were born between the years 1972 and 1988, its a good chance Chuck Noris is you dad
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Chuch noris counted to infinity
twice
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when chuck noris jumps into the water, he doesnt get wet
the water gets chuck norised
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Chuck norris doesn't have a chin........ just another fist behind his beard
Chuck norris doesn't read.... he just stares at the words until he gets the information he needs
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Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting... he goes killing
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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
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(nice reg, but watch the re-peats)
Chuck Noris's tears can cure cancer
too bad Chuck Noris never crys
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attention admin please to be deleating this thread
Please!
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no way this thread is awesome i am laughing so hard.
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attention admin please to be deleating this thread
Please!
if you dont' like it, dont read it. I first say these scribbled on the "latrines" walls in afghanistan. always good for a laugh when taking care of business
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my OCD won't let me not read all the new posts
even when it hurts
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my OCD won't let me not read all the new posts
even when it hurts
just hit the "mark all as read" on the lower right of the main screen. then no more bubbles!
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(nice reg, but watch the re-peats)
Chuck Noris's tears can cure cancer
too bad Chuck Noris never crys
I shamelessly copied and pasted off of chucknorrisfacts.com ;D
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I figured as much. ;)
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Chuck Norris cant shave with a razor cause the only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
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chuch norris doesnt have a 1000 mile stare, he has a 1000 mile kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris does all of his own welding... With his eyes!
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Chuck Norris kicked Steven Segal so hard he turned into Sean-Claude Van Damm.
Chuck Norris needs to run for president.... Who would mess with us then? That's right.... NO ONE!
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Um.
This thread wouldn't be a place to post that I have never, in my natural life or state of mind that I recall, ever have seen a Chuck Norris movie, would it?
Please.
Don't hate.
:P ;) ;D
Next.
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i think you need....to .....step .....into............the ...............OCTAGON BABY!!!!
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Just wait... I called Chuck Norris for you and he's coming to kick you ass!!!!
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Just wait... I called Chuck Norris for you and he's coming to kick you ass!!!!
(http://www.retrorush.nl/shop/images/Chuck_Norris_Retro_t-shirt_small.JPG)
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*Just grins* Now now, temper temper.
Damned die hards.
*Thinks*
Men are like steel: when they lose their temper, they lose their worth. -Chuck Norris.
heh
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*Just grins* Now now, temper temper.
Damned die hards.
*Thinks*
Men are like steel: when they lose their temper, they lose their worth. -Chuck Norris.
heh
See your learning already!
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When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.
Chuck Norris uses redhot lava to moisturize his skin.
Chuck Norris invented the apple.
Chuck Norris Buillt Mount Everest with a bucket and spade.
Chuck Norris does not age. Every birthday, it's just another year added to his existence, which sucks for you.
Chuck Norris does not have chest hair, he has millions of highly venomous nematocysts. You have virtually no chance of surviving the venomous sting, unless treated immediately. The pain is so excruciating and overwhelming that you would most likely go into shock and collapse a split second before getting hit in the face with a roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris can chug a gallon of milk and not throw up.
Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.
If you get roundhouse kicked in the face by Chuck Norris in your dream, you DIE!
Chuck Norris can have his cake AND eat it too.
Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands.
Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn't think so either.
Chuck Norris CAN lick his elbow.
P is for Chuck Norris, as is every other letter of the alphabet.
Chuck Norris puts the FUN in Funeral.
Chuck Norris' paradise is war.
Chuck Norris is capable of photosynthesis.
Chuck Norris has never had a surprise birthday party. He can NEVER be surprised. EVER.
Chuck Norris does not love Raymond.
Chuck Norris can lick his own elbows. At the same time.
Chuck Norris can kick start a car.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris wrote an autobiography....it was just a list of everyone he has killed.
Einstein's original Theory of Relativity was; if Chuck Norris kicks you, your relatives will feel it.
Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris.
As seen in Sidekicks, Chuck Norris can climb a rope with one hand, and one hand only.
Chuck Norris does not dance. He roundhouse kicks to the beat.
Chuck Norris can MAKE water run uphill.
Chuck Norris can hold Puff Daddy down.
The moon is actually a comet that was once on course to hit earth... then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it into orbit.
Chuck Norris can strike a match on a bar of soap.
Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a fully load gun and won.
The only reason the color pink still exists is because Chuck Norris is color blind.
Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.
Chuck Norris isn't afraid of Urban Legends, he is an Urban Legend.
Chuck Norris once played 18 holes of golf using a 12 inch strip of rebar and a sun dried tomato. He shot a 54.
On the Asian market, Chuck Norris' urine is worth $400 per fluid ounce.
See spot. See spot run. See spot get round house kicked in the face by Chuck Norris.
Niagra Falls is the result of one of Chuck's legendary cannon balls.
Chuck Norris sneezes electricity.
Chuck Norris performs colonoscopies on himself.
If you were killed by Chuck Norris, your tombstone would read RIP, ripped into pieces.
Chuck Norris' smile once brought a puppy back to life.
You know he jumped off the Empire State Building this one time and he only sprained his ankle.
Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident....and still managed to walk it off.
Contrary to popular belief the Lottery numbers are not random. They are just the number of people Chuck Norris killed that given day.
Chuck norris invented the corndog.
The agent of Chuck Norris asked Chuck if he wanted to be in Brokeback Mountain. Chuck Norris' agent has been missing for almost 2 years now. Never ask Chuck Norris to be in a gay cowboy movie.
Chuck Norris IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
Chuck Norris understands the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Chuck Norris belives the hype.
Chuck Norris CAN in fact stop the beat.
When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
When Chuck Norris picks his nose, he REALLY does find Gold.
Chuck Norris speaks in all caps.
Chuck Norris delivers more male with one thrust of his pelvis than the U.S. Postal Service and the Pony Express have combined for the last 146 years.
Chuck Norris wasn't born with feet, just boots.
Chuck Norris won a pissing contest against a Russian race horse.
When Chuck Norris throws a boomerang, the boomerang does not return because it is scared to come back.
Chuck Norris floats like a butterfly and stings like a tomahawk missile. At mach 3. In the face.
Chuck Norris can dribble a football.
Chuck Norris’ IQ can be expressed simply as a sideways eight
Chuck Norris is a stunt double for Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris was once asked to repeat himself. The last thing that person ever heard was the wooshing sound of a roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
Chuck Norris had his tonsels removed with a chainsaw.
Chuck Norris digs graves with a shoe horn.
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Chuck Norris needs to run for president.... Who would mess with us then? That's right.... NO ONE!
Did you see the Iowa primary results? he was standing right behind huckabee. Imagine him as VP, or better, secritary of defense or state. the middle east would be finaly be at peace, as in resting in peace
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Chuck Norris needs to run for president.... Who would mess with us then? That's right.... NO ONE!
Did you see the Iowa primary results? he was standing right behind huckabee. Imagine him as VP, or better, secritary of defense or state. the middle east would be finaly be at peace, as in resting in peace
Well if "The Terminator" can be gov., and Jesse "The Body" Ventura can be gov, I don't see why not Chuck Norris for Pres. Hell, Reagan was an actor, and he became Pres!
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Chuck Norris needs to run for president.... Who would mess with us then? That's right.... NO ONE!
Did you see the Iowa primary results? he was standing right behind huckabee. Imagine him as VP, or better, secritary of defense or state. the middle east would be finaly be at peace, as in resting in peace
Well if "The Terminator" can be gov., and Jesse "The Body" Ventura can be gov, I don't see why not Chuck Norris for Pres. Hell, Reagan was an actor, and he became Pres!
And a pretty good one, too (both Reagan and Norris)
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chuck can dribble a football and clap with one hand.
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chuck can dribble a football and clap with one hand.
already posted
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i was posting that i liked those two.
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Chuck Norris needs to run for president.... Who would mess with us then? That's right.... NO ONE!
Did you see the Iowa primary results? he was standing right behind huckabee. Imagine him as VP, or better, secritary of defense or state. the middle east would be finaly be at peace, as in resting in peace
Well if "The Terminator" can be gov., and Jesse "The Body" Ventura can be gov, I don't see why not Chuck Norris for Pres. Hell, Reagan was an actor, and he became Pres!
And a pretty good one, too (both Reagan and Norris)
he'd probably do better then obama..
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Agreed.
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Chuck norris once shot down a Nazi bomber by pointing at it and shouting bang!
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chuck norris doesnt fight anymore, people just run into his fist and lose :D